This might possibly help you overcome your problem in #3 :
Using Graph API it's easy to get the wall's feed in JSON, but then
rendering and styling it is a nightmare - there must be a simpler way.
Trying to "recreate" the look and feel of any good implementation is a hard task.
The following link might assist you with styling your own elements to look like facebook elements.
http://ckrack.github.com/fbootstrapp/
Fbootstrapp is a toolkit designed to kickstart development of facebook
iframe apps in both relevant sizes. It includes base CSS and HTML for
typography, forms, buttons, tables, grids, navigation, and more,
styled in the typical facebook look and feel.
Here are a few examples of the styling :
(source: softpedia-static.com)
Notification boxes
(source: softpedia-static.com)
Form Elements
(source: softpedia-static.com)
In closing I would like to bring to attention the ever nearing deprecation of FBML.
We as facebook developers are solely responsible for keeping up-to-date with the changes that 3rd party API's, on which we base our development, make to their systems. There are no alternatives to FBML, only new (and in many cases) better ways to display/extract data from facebook's servers.
A great place to keep updated on changes and new features would be the Facebook Developers Blog and the Facebook Developers Roadmap.
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